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We appreciate the stories, thoughts and prayers of both those who knew Jaxon and those who've only heard stories of him. Feel free to leave yours here and come back as often as you like.





Who was Jaxon?

Jaxon Kent Logan. Who am I? Well there are several obvious things about who I am, such as; I am the youngest of four children. I have two dogs, two birds and a cat named frosty. I have lived in Palmer all of my life - even being born at Valley Hospital. Now, these are the boring facts, but who really cares, I want to tell you who I really am.

First of all, let me share what I like. I started skating at age four around our family ice rink, holding onto the back of a chair. That was the beginning of a love affair with hockey. I have been skating for over 12 years and have played hockey for 9 years. I love the sport because it requires coordination, skill and discipline. It has been a family tradition starting with my dad playing hockey in school, followed by my older brother Dustin playing for Palmer High School and now I trail in their footsteps. I started snowboarding three years ago. I love being outdoors and I love the snow. It is my source of entertainment, which brings me to my favorite activity - snowmobiling. If I am not going 100 miles an hour then I am just not happy. I spend a lot of winter days on my sled. It is a time to be with friends and with my family. It is also a time to be alone. I can get on my sled and just go. I can forget any troubles I may be having. It is my way of releasing stress. Even during the summer months, I can be found sitting on my snow machine dreaming of the winter days past and those to come. In the land of the midnight sun, I fill the long days with fishing and hunting. I started fishing when I was old enough of hold a pole. My dad would strap me to the back of the truck and I would fish with him until I caught my limit. To this day, my dad and I are still great at getting up at 4:00am to slay the Silvers.

I am glad I live in Alaska; it gives me the chance to have fun things to do because one thing I do not like is to be bored. I like being busy. I hate the feeling of not having something to do. It gives me a feeling of being worthless. I wonder why I am sitting at home when all my friends are out having fun. I like to be involved and doing something worthwhile. I also do not like zucchini. No matter how my mom tries to disguise it, zucchini bread, zucchini soup, zucchini in stir fry, it all tastes the same - like zucchini. And I do not like zucchini - any way!

So far I have shared what I like and what I do not like. However, to find out who I really am, one would have to understand my beliefs, because my life to this point has been strongly shaped by those principles. I believe it is important to stand for something. The standards I have chosen to follow give me a guideline for my life. I have decided to stay away from drugs or drinking alcohol. I want to be honest when dealing with other people. I think it is important to be kind and to treat other with respect, especially with girls. A lot of my friends, who are girls, appreciate the way I treat them. I don't say inappropriate comments to get a laugh from my buddies. I would rather have the respect from the girls anyway. I even open the car door for my mom. I believe in the principles of strong families and good marriages. These lessons were taught to me by my parents. I also believe that it is important to have a spiritual side. My parents taught me about prayer and religion. Through my own personal study and prayer I have come to find out the truth of these things for myself. The things I have learned will be the foundation for the rest of my life and my family's life to come.

My likes and dislikes an my beliefs and behaviors have created me. I am Jaxon Kent Logan.

Written by Jaxon - 2002

351 darcyJanuary 21, 2012
How did you know Jaxon? mom
Jaxon ~ I never want to go through what we experienced 7 years ago - right about this time; however, through these 7 years I have learned so much. Some of the things I have learned is that our lives, our choices, our example do matter. I have learned that kindness has a way of being remembered. I know that families are eternal and I know I will see you again. Everything that is truly important - is wrapped up in what I have learned since you left. I love you my son. Love your momma
350 JacobJanuary 21, 2012
How did you know Jaxon? Family
And by the way the aces are crushing the steelheads right now
349 JacobJanuary 21, 2012
How did you know Jaxon? Family
Jaxon I can't believe how much time has gone by but I still miss you as much as the day you died. I left my passenger seat empty for you today haha. I love you and miss you. ROCK ON !!!
348 JacobJanuary 21, 2012
How did you know Jaxon? Life
Jaxon I can't believe how much time has gone by but I still miss you as much as the day you died. I left my passenger seat empty for you today haha. I love you and miss you. ROCK ON !!!
347 MelindaJanuary 21, 2012
How did you know Jaxon? sister
Thinking of you and love you. Xander had a hockey game today at Seven Peaks and scored a goal for you. And while Xander was playing the game Jacob was busy picking up girls phone numbers. Your nephews are quite the boys.
346 Kristine January 21, 2012
How did you know Jaxon? friend
I am so blessed to have seen your family today at my work. They came in for lunch together after the temple. I miss and love you so much. Its amazing how many grandkids your parents have now. I also found out your sisters family just moved to Eagle River. I might have to take her up on the home cooked meal she offered. :-) always great to reflect. your family has been and will always be an example of a family following heavenly fathers plan. won't ever forget the fun times we had together....church dances, skating, playing in the rain, tipping the canoe, youth conference, me visiting u in Utah......:-) 7 years has flown by. Always thinking of u!!!<3<3<3
345 cortneyJanuary 11, 2012
How did you know Jaxon? sis
Just booked hockey tickets for the 21st. Love and miss you. xoxo
344 MichaelJanuary 3, 2012
How did you know Jaxon? Dad
Well we have seen another year come and go. Many blessings have come our way. New additions to the family and opportunities to be together. I look forward to seeing you again. Time is moving at a rapid pace. I am sure it will not be long in the eternal scheme. Love Dad
343 candiceDecember 12, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? high school friend
Jaxon, you know its been some time but I still think about you and all the wonderful things you did for those you knew. Just remembering you makes me try harder at being a better person. Taking the time to help someone, give advice, or just being there for someone in need. You truely are one of a kind and ill forever cherish the memories of you and all the fun times Cassie, Jake, and I shared together with you. Thank you for inspiring me to be a better person and the best mother and wife I can be. God bless you and your family.
342 JakeDecember 11, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Family
Jaxon
Today at work I was jammin out to a song that make me think of you and brought tears to my eyes. Called "Friends will be friends" by Queen . I love you and miss you. I can't wait to see you again someday.
341 DarcyDecember 9, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? mom
I am not sure how many of our friends still check in - so if you do - we wish all of you a wonderful Christmas season. I love Christmas because of the rememberance of the Savior's birth - and why He came and for what He did. It is because of His birth, His life and His death - that we have hope~ hope in the resurrection which assures us that we will be with Jaxon again. I am so grateful for the many gifts this seasons brings to our lives. When I look at nativities - it is a sweet reminder that this baby-child brought peace to earth with His message. We feel that peace, that hope, that gift. We wish all a wonderful Christmas. With our love ~ Michael and Darcy
340 Billy RoseNovember 7, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Family
Thinking of you :)
339 DarccyOctober 25, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? mom
Hey Jax-Man, So we now have little Zoe May in our family - a beautiful little girl who will complete Dustin and Melinda's family. We went to the ice rink for Xander's hockey practice. I thought about you skating around the ice. It is hard to go there, yet, at the same time, I feel close to you knowing you had once been there. Our lives go on and you are and will always be an important part of our family. I know that little Zoe will know her Uncle Jaxon, just like all the rest of your nieces and nephews know and love you. You are their hero. You have an amazing brother and sisters who love and cherish their little brother. Thanks for watching over your family; especially the little ones. Love you my son. Mom
338 DabricOctober 17, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Friend of Family
I remember John Erickson saying in his testimony that he found his eldest son preparing for church putting gel in his hair and saying that he “wanted to be like Jaxon.”
I remember getting my Young Women’s Medallion and having a recognition night for those with similar accomplishments. We each had a table set up to display our notable achievements. I remember Jaxon’s table, put up to honor his Eagle Scout accomplishment, though he had already passed – and I remember wanting to be like him.
I remember Jaxon’s mom giving one of her many unforgettable lessons for our class and how touched I felt when she pondered how Jaxon would always hold her hand and that she knew that she would see him again – and that he would once more hold her hand.
Jaxon, though I never remember meeting you I want to thank you for the memories that you have given me, for they have taught me a lot. You have shown me that you can be a role model to others with out even knowing it. You have encouraged me to be a better person by your actions and living righteously. And, through your mother, you have taught me that one day I can be with my brother who is with Heavenly Father, and that I can hold his hand. Thank you. ~Dabric
337 CortneySeptember 13, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? sister
Miss you
336 LindaSeptember 7, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? friend attended college with him
Since the day I heard Jaxons story my heart has hurt for your family. Yet anytime that I need help with my testimony I read your powerful messages and remember that families are forever and your family is a true testimony to that and my prayers are always with you! Thank You so much for sharing!
335 DarcyAugust 7, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? his mom
I am not sure where the summer went to - it came and it is leaving..too fast. One consulation - the garden is full of veggies - even zucchini. It always makes me smile as I pick the big ones - and I say to myself, "This one is for you, Jaxon."...just because you were so adamant about not liking them. But, I had great fun in trying to disguise zuccini in all sorts of recipes. Some of them you discovered....but some of them you did not. To the great zucchini disguise!
Our family is growing. Your little nephews and nieces are so beautiful. I know you look after them. They all love their "Uncle Jaxon." It is amazing how they know you...and feel a connection to someone they know is very special. Kind of like Adi - today - just missing you - which never seems to leave my heart. Love you son, mom
334 AdiJuly 26, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Friend
It's funny how sometimes I find myself just reading through the entries posted here, and leaving without saying anything. It's even funnier on days like today, I feel the strong urge to say something...anything.
Love you Jaxon Kent Logan.
Xo
Adi
333 SaraJuly 21, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? ...
Thinking of you today. Thanks for everything.
332 Mary StrineJuly 17, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Friend of family
Ken and I think of you and your family often. Jaxon is forever part of our family.
331 Lindi LehnhausenJuly 13, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Friend
I miss you Jaxon. I always will.
330 DarcyJune 12, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? his mom
Hi my special son. I have worked hard fixing the yard over the last several weeks. You occupy my mind while I work outside because I know how much you loved the end results. I made a special, "Jaxon Garden" behind the house. So when I am working in the garden - I can see your picture and your turtles and flowers. Your garden spot at the cemetary did not fair too well through the winter. It bothered me that it did not look like a ~ happy ~ spot. So, I replanted it with happy flowers. I really love being there. It is peaceful for me. Our family will be together this summer - doing what has created so many family memories - fishing! I love when I have everyone here. Although life is busy, it is lonely without my children and grandchildren. I look forward to those moments when we are together. You will always be an important part of that connection. Love and missing you. mom
329 TREVOR C. STICKNEYMay 20, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? ICECATS HOCKEY
JAXON PLAYED FOR MY FAVORITE COLLEGE HOCKEY TEAM. COACH GANNT COACHED MY HOCKEY TEAM THE LEHI PIONEERS I BELIEVE AT THE SAME TIME THAT HE COACHED THE ICECATS. HE WAS AN EXCELLENT PLAYER AND I WISH I HAD GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO MEET HIM. EVEN JUST WATCHING HIM PLAY THE GAME WAS AN INSPIRATION. MY HEART GOES OUT TO HIS LOVED ONES.
328 SaraMay 14, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? ...
happy birthday! Love you!
327 MichaelMay 14, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Dad
Happy Birthday Son, we miss you.
326 LindseyApril 28, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? friend
I have been thinking about you often and wanted to say hi. I wish I could have known you longer than a couple of months. You were and are a wonderful guy. Thanks for the few but awesome memories.
325 Billy RoseApril 25, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Family
Hey Jaxon... I can't help but see you everywhere I look lately, especially since it is spring in Alaska :) I am so grateful this Easter Sunday as I have had time to reflect on the sacrifice the Savior made... Easter was always my favorite holiday growing up. I loved the annual family egg hunt, it seemed like we would never get to participate with the big kids :) I can't help but rejoice in the triumph over death and knowing that one day we will see each other again. I am so grateful for our friendship... I can honestly say I don't know what I would do without it. Thank you for always knowing the right thing to say... Somehow I still hear your voice when I need comfort or guidance. Love you Jaxon!
324 Elaine IveyMarch 25, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? through his parents
I love your website :) I wish I could have had something like this for Jason. Yesterday was my son's 4th year anniversary home. I remembered yours was in January. It does get less shocking over time. I know our kids are having a ball and working hard in delightful surroundings, near us. God bless you each :) I believe that they would choose to go when they did (except they didn't have any choice), knowing what they know now. From their realm, this life is hard and better things await us! May they rock on in love and grace...
323 MichaelMarch 7, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Dad
Jaxon, The sun is shinning, there is heat in it. I still think of the week You, Tylan, Jake, Timo and I spent on the mountain snowmachining. Have fun in the work you are doing. Love, Dad
322 AdiFebruary 22, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Friend
I've been coming to this page almost everyday for a month now, trying to put my feelings into words.
I miss you, I love you and can't wait to see you again.
There are so many constant reminders of you. Jake & Dillan rode the sleds today & I could almost see you out there riding with them. Driving up & down our road, passing your parents, taking one last glance down at the corner before turning home. I don't do these things because I'm thinking of you, but because I do them, I think of you.
XOxxoX
Adi
321 DarcyJanuary 23, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? mom
I went to the cemetary to leave a little wooden heart on Jaxon's rock garden - now covered with a white fluffy layer of snow. There was a single pathway from the road to that special spot - made with foot prints. A bouquet of flowers planted in the snow added color to the whiteness. My mind thought - Jake has already been here. Thanks Jacob. As I took time to read many of the very first entries written following Jaxon's death, I once again marveled at the impact he had on so many of us. Sometimes people ask me if it gets any easier with time. I am not quite sure how to answer that, because it seems that at this time of year, my whole soul remembers the sorrow of that night and the intense realization that he is not with us right now. It is not a depression or a feeling of hopelessness; just an deep longing to see him, to give him a hug, to hear his infectious laugh and to have more memories of him. The phone calls, the notes, the special turtle gifts, the flowers and Peace Lily plant let me know we don't walk this path alone. We have caring wonderful friends who love us and love Jaxon. Thanks to all of you. I love Hiliary Weeks song - "But, Just for Today - Let Me Cry," I guess that is how I feel about January 21st. Mike and I love you all. Jaxon, I love you.
Mom
320 CortneyJanuary 22, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? sis
Hey Jax - My day yesterday turned into a day of service. As much as I would have liked to just be by myself and think about you - I realized Heavenly Father knew what I needed to get me through my day better than what I thought I wanted. I spent the entire day with my niece and nephews from 3 different families. I did get out for a hockey game and spent a little time reminiscing with Jeff. I miss you brother. In life and in death you are an inspiration to all. I will always strive to be a better person so I can be with you again. Love you.
319 Tina GuyJanuary 21, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Friend
I cannot find words to express my gratitude to you, you have taught me so much. I miss you, and your contagious smile. I have really enjoyed going over to your parent's house lately, and seeing the photos of you, the memories come flooding back. Thanks for everything bud! I love you and I will never forget you.
318 Melinda January 21, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Sister
I love you and miss you. The boys talk about you all the time. Anytime they play a game and have made up names they fight over who gets to be Jaxon. I guess you are just too cool. Love you.
317 Stephanie BowenJanuary 21, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Adopted Big Sister
I think about you and your family every day. Your family is such an great example to us all.
316 Tara January 21, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Friend/ big Sis;)
Hi jaxon,
Been thinking about you a lot lately. Sure love you. Bryce still tells the story of you two snow machining and seeing the wolf. You made an impression on everybody no matter how long they knew you. Send an extra ray of sunshine to Chauri today for me. And maybe if you have time.. Jake too. Love you little brother can't wait to hug you again.
315 DustinJanuary 21, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Big Bro
Hey little brother, I am taking my family to the BYU game tonight against Weber State. It should be a good one. People still talk about you at the games when they see your number in the rafters. I am proud to be your brother.
314 SaraJanuary 21, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? ...
You have taught me to live a more fulfilling life, for that I will forever be grateful. Rock on, Jaxon... Rock on!
313 JacobJanuary 21, 2011
How did you know Jaxon? Brother
Jaxon
I can't believe it's been six year since you passed. I still remember that night six years ago like it was yesterday. Your were the best friend anyone could ever ask for. I wish you were still here and I'll never forget you I miss and love you man
ROCK ON !!!!!
312 MichaelDecember 29, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? Dad
Well Jax, we were all together at Cortney and Jeff's for Christmas. You were with us in spirit. We sure missed you. We look forward to the day we are all together again. Dad
311 DarcyNovember 16, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? mom
As the holidays come closer, I think of you often and my thoughts return to the last Christmas we were all together. Dad and I worked hard to get the renovation done downstairs before you all came home. I put Christmas trees in each of your rooms and we were so excited about being together as a family. I still look forward to us being together as a family. I have learned a lot over these last almost 6 years since you left. I know that the Gospel of Jesus Christ has the answers to find happiness, hope and joy in this life. I know that as our lives draw closer to the Savior, we will find the answers to the questions of this life. There is peace and safety in following the counsel of a living prophet. And more than life itself, I know I will see you again. It is that knowledge that helps me live with the sadness of not having you here with us. Jaxon, you are a wonderful son and I am so grateful that we had you with us for 18 wonderful years....and we will have you forever and always. Love you Jax
Your mom
310 Sara & WinterNovember 6, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? ...
Hey Jax, you have influenced my thoughts a lot lately and I'm grateful for that. Tonight as Winter and I were talking in the car your song came on AGAIN! I love that they are playing it more and more.... either it's coming back in popularity or it's just been presents for me, either way I love it. We pulled up pictures of you, which led to pictures of Blaze and Cole so we could see your smile. As we were looking at pictures ANOTHER one of your songs came on! Seriously, it touches me every time and it always is special to me, especially now. Thoughts of you always make me smile and feel supported and cared for, it means the world to me.
Love you tons, Buddy. Thanks for everything.
309 DarccyOctober 21, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? mom
Hi Jax - we pulled up the carpet in the living for the remodel and there on the floor was all of our signatures. I remember when we did it. We let all of you write your names and any message on the plywood before the carpet was layed down. It was a sweet memory to read the names of Jake, Chauri, Coltan, Tylan, you and dad and me written on June 21, 2001. I think I will take a picture to keep the memory. I love the fact that you continue to be with us; I just miss the actual hugs and the laughter you always brought. We love you son and you are always remembered. Thanks for your signature. Love mom
308 jacobSeptember 16, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? brother
love ya man
307 HayleeSeptember 9, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? Friend
Today I had my first hockey class at BYU. We played a game at the end of class. I found myself sitting on the bench waiting to go onto the ice and memories of you flooded my mind. As I was thinking about you I glanced up at one of the instructors as he passed in front of me on the ice. On the back of his helmet was your number 11. I couldn't help but smile knowing you were there. Im lucky that I get to learn how to play the game that you love so much.
306 DarcySeptember 1, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? mom
Hey Jax-man, I hope you can help protect and support Ryan while he is in deployed. I know he will feel your presence. Take good care of our two new little grandchildren who are on the way. You are never forgotten and always loved. Love mom
305 Mike LoganAugust 22, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? Dad
Hope all is well where you are. We have had a wonderfull Summer. Miracles have made us think of you. Love from all. Dad
304 CortneyJune 1, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? sister
Hey Buddy,
Just checking in. We are having a girl - but of course you already knew that :) I know you are taking good care of her for me until I can hold her in my arms. The kids are all really excited about having another sister - everytime we asked Kennedy if she wanted a brother or sister - she said sister. I'm hoping this one will calm her down a little bit. Tina says I'm raising my siblings. Blaze is just like Dustin, Cole reminds me of you every day and Kennedy is very much like Chauri. Love you buddy. I hope all is well with you. xo
303 DarcyMay 31, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? mom
Just thinking about you today and the impact your life has had on so many and your memory, your life, your love of life - lives on. While going through your foot locker that I have kept I found one of your Bugs Bunny t-shirts - and I decided to wear it today - while I work outside. You once told me that although you did not like doing yard as much as I did, you were very happy that I loved doing all the flowers and gardens because you loved how it made our home look, when I was all done. So, I will take a little memory of you outside with me today, while I make our outside wilderness look beautiful. I think of you all the time when I am outside - just because I know how much you loved the outdoors. I have your little turtles tucked away all through the gardens and each one brings a special thought of you. Enjoy the sunshine with me today. Love and missing you - always. XXOO Mom
302 AlinaMay 26, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? Friends
I miss you tons Jaxon!!! You have been on my mind a lot lately. I could never ask to have had a better friend. You will continue to mean the world to me. :)
301 CortneyMay 14, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? sister
Happy Birthday Jax. I baked you some Vanilla Raspberry Filled cupcakes with Cream Cheese Frosting. They were good :) Love you buddy.
300 JacobMay 14, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? brother
happy birhtday bud love ya
299 SaraMay 14, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? ...
Happy Birthday, Big Guy... I think about you often, but you know that. I love that our birthdays are so close together. May birthdays are the best. Love you lots.
298 momMay 1, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? his mom
Just thinking about you tonight. Love mom
297 SaraApril 27, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? ...
Hey Jax, little things remind me of you and always make me smile. Life moves fast, I'm sure you enjoy seeing us all take the wild ride. Keep smilin' with me. Thanks for everything.
296 John LoganApril 20, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? He's my cousin!
Not sure why, just feeling sentimental... I wish I would have had more time to spend with you, cuz. I'm sure I've said it before, maybe even here, but I miss you. And I'm not alone.
See you sooner than later I think...
: )
295 DarcyApril 3, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? his mom
I love Easter - for many reasons: the signs of spring not too far in the distance, the longer days, the warmer sunshine, the beginning of new life, the thoughts of flowers and gardens; however, what I love the most is the Easter message of hope - the Atonement, the Resurrection, the Savior, and the blessings of Eternal Families. Easter and thoughts of Jaxon go hand in hand. How grateful I am to know what I know and although we are separated now, it is only temporary. I am certain of that. Happy Easter Jaxon. Love Mom
294 cha'uriApril 1, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? i didn't
he sounded real cool dude i wish i did know him
293 elinaMarch 31, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? 99137761
gia ti kanis
292 CortneyMarch 28, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? sister
Jeff and I had to laugh this weekend when he baptised little Jaxon Schwenk - he couldn't get you out of his head and ended up calling him Jaxon Logan. Made me smile - like you had your hand in it. love you
291 cassieMarch 25, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? friend
Just wanted to tell you I love you and so much reminds me of you. thank you for always being there for me even now. You are an amazing person and these last 5 years have seemed like forever. Love you always.
290 Darcy LoganMarch 23, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? mom
Hey Jaxon - Just want to say I love you and good night. Mom
289 CortneyMarch 7, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? sister
Hey Jax - I'll let Mom share. I know she's excited! We all are. Take good care of our baby for us. I know you will. xo
288 DarcyFebruary 26, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? forever his momma
Hey Jaxon - I should probably let Jeff and Cortney share this....but, I am going to. Our number 9 grandchild will arrive in October. So, Dustin and Melinda's baby comes at the end of June and Jeff and Cortney's little one will be here in October. I know you love these little nieces (I am assuming one more will come)and nephews and I have felt you are a part of their lives. They all know you and love you. Take good care of them until their birthdays. You are always remembered. Love momma
287 AdiFebruary 26, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? .
Jaxers,

We got a 1/2 foot of snow yesterday, everything is covered in a beautiful white blanket. Can't help but think this is what heaven must look like. Hopefully with some added heat! :)

Haylee sent me a letter Today and included the article that was written about you on February 19th. You are so loved Jaxon. When I opened the envelope the first thing I saw was a picture of your banner hanging in the arena. It instantly brought tears to my eyes.

I love you so much, and am so thankful for all you have done and continue to do for me.

Haylee May - Thanks for sending me your kind letter & the article. It means more than I could ever write. I love you lady.

Adi Mae
286 SaraFebruary 13, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? ...
Hey Jax,
I watch the olympics and the tragic death of the luge athlete from the country of Georgia. What an awful thing. Last night as I watched the opening ceremonies I saw his countrymen walk into the ceremonies carrying their flag at half mast, black bands on their arms. I broke down in tears.
I have heard of their doubt on if they should compete in the games, if they should continue in their individual olympic quests. I kept saying, "YES, you must compete. He wouldn't want you to quit. Keep him in your hearts and give it all you have."
Yet, when I saw their faces last night I broke down. My heart ached for them. I've been there. We've been there. I've been at that point when I felt that life shouldn't go on, can't go on.... I've had those doubts. Do we keep playing? Do we end everything? Do we do it in his honor? I've been there when we did decide to keep playing and you were constantly a part of things, that is all we could find comfort in.
Know that I love you Jax, we love you. I pray that his teammates will somehow find comfort. Find it in their hearts and guts to keep going, to try to absorb every moment so later they can tell him all about every feeling and emotion of the games.
Love you buddy, thanks for everything.
285 SaraFebruary 13, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? ...
Hey Jax,
I watch the olympics and the tragic death of the luge athlete from the country of Georgia. What an awful thing. Last night as I watched the opening ceremonies I saw his countrymen walk into the ceremonies carrying their flag at half mast, black bands on their arms. I broke down in tears.
I have heard of their doubt on if they should compete in the games, if they should continue in their individual olympic quests. I kept saying, "YES, you must compete. He wouldn't want you to quit. Keep him in your hearts and give it all you have."
Yet, when I saw their faces last night I broke down. My heart ached for them. I've been there. We've been there. I've been at that point when I felt that life shouldn't go on, can't go on.... I've had those doubts. Do we keep playing? Do we end everything? Do we do it in his honor? I've been there when we did decide to keep playing and you were constantly a part of things, that is all we could find comfort in.
Know that I love you Jax, we love you. I pray that his teammates will somehow find comfort. Find it in their hearts and guts to keep going, to try to absorb every moment so later they can tell him all about every feeling and emotion of the games.
Love you buddy, thanks for everything.
284 SaraFebruary 13, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? ...
Hey Jax,
I watch the olympics and the tragic death of the luge athlete from the country of Georgia. What an awful thing. Last night as I watched the opening ceremonies I saw his countrymen walk into the ceremonies carrying their flag at half mast, black bands on their arms. I broke down in tears.
I have heard of their doubt on if they should compete in the games, if they should continue in their individual olympic quests. I kept saying, "YES, you must compete. He wouldn't want you to quit. Keep him in your hearts and give it all you have."
Yet, when I saw their faces last night I broke down. My heart ached for them. I've been there. We've been there. I've been at that point when I felt that life shouldn't go on, can't go on.... I've had those doubts. Do we keep playing? Do we end everything? Do we do it in his honor? I've been there when we did decide to keep playing and you were constantly a part of things, that is all we could find comfort in.
Know that I love you Jax, we love you. I pray that his teammates will somehow find comfort. Find it in their hearts and guts to keep going, to try to absorb every moment so later they can tell him all about every feeling and emotion of the games.
Love you buddy, thanks for everything.
283 SaraFebruary 10, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? ...
Hey Jax,
Sometimes are harder than others, I'm sure you know this. Recently it's been on the harder end of things... Last night I woke up crying, there were so many things going through my mind. Sometimes I can't make sense of it; but this I know, through the hard times or the not so hard times.... I will always think of you, always be grateful for what I've been taught through this incredibly trying experiance and will eternally be grateful for the love of your family... I hope they know how much I love them.
Thinking of you, Jax. Talk to you soon.
282 Adi January 26, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? Friend
Darcy,
I love and appreciate you, as a friend and as a Mother. Thank you for being such a wonderful person and raising such wonderful children. I love hugging you, it's like hugging Jaxon.

XoXo, Adi Mae

281 darcyJanuary 26, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? mom
Hey Adi Mae...I am going to use Jaxon's space to write to you. Have I told you lately...how much I love and appreciate you? I do! Thanks for sharing such a beautiful message. And I still cried, even waiting a few days to read it....but it was happy tears. And thanks for the hug the other day - I felt your love. Jaxon has wonderful friends and my heart is grateful for each one of you. Love Jaxon's mom
280 Adi MaeJanuary 22, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? Friend
Dearest Jaxers,
While I was still living in Utah, several months after you had passed I called home and with a lump in my throat making it hard to breathe - let alone speak, managed to sob “Dad when will it stop?” I wasn’t prepared for the answer he quickly whispered, “It will never go away Adi Mae – you don’t want it to, but I promise it will become less painful with time.” At the time I was almost angry, how could he believe I didn’t want this pain to stop? I wanted to forget, I wanted to erase January 21st 2005 from my life forever.
I quickly found there was no forgetting, no erasing, and no changing things that were said – or not said. Regardless of how hard I tried to push you from my thoughts, it was useless – you were constantly there. I would wake up wishing I hadn’t, hoping my dreams would take me far from you. I was so consumed with my own grief; I wasn’t allowing myself to see the full picture. Like most “siblings” you and I didn’t always see eye to eye, but like “siblings” we always knew the other was there when needed. You weren't there anymore, and I needed you. I later realized, not surprisingly, Dad was right – the last thing I wanted was to forget you. I wanted you here, home with your family – close to me.
I was dreading Christmas 2005, I didn’t want to return home again and be reminded of you everywhere I looked. I wanted no part in winter activities because you weren’t there, and winter was YOUR favorite. Finally, a few days before I was returning to Utah I mustered the courage to walk down the road and visit your Parents. As I started down the driveway, house in view, I got the familiar lump in my throat from months earlier. I wanted to turn back and run home, I tried rationalizing this choice in my head - I wasn’t ready for this, I was going to ruin Mike and Darcy’s day because I knew I wouldn’t be able to maintain composure. My feet were moving steadily and before I realized, I was knocking on the front door, very quietly. I hadn’t thought of what I would say, but when no one came to the door my heart stopped beating so furiously. As I turned to walk away I muttered “that was close,” and the door swung open…
As I walked into your house, your Mom held me in her arms for what felt like an hour. We were both silently crying, just standing there hugging. We made our way through the kitchen into the front room where your Dad was, I hugged him – still crying. We all sat on the couch together; the couch where I last saw you. I remember talking about the Plan of Salvation, Eternal Families and the Atonement. Your Mom was expressing her gratitude for the knowledge that she would be with you again for Eternity, when I saw both your Parents’ countenances change¬ – they seemed to be at ease, comforted. I had been praying for months for that comfort to surround me. I can’t describe the feeling that overwhelmed me; the lump was back – bigger than ever. I couldn’t talk, so I did what comes second to me – I cried. Like you, I was born into the Covenant. However, I wasn’t truly converted until that day - sitting on the couch with your parents. I had never fully appreciated the gift of Christ’s Atonement, until that day.
Since that day there have only been a few instances where I have felt such a strong appreciation for Christ’s Atonement. Since Elle was born, I feel it far more frequently. She is such a blessing in my life; I have never been so in love. Knowing that no matter what happens on this earthly life, I have the opportunity to live with her and the rest of my family for eternity is such a comfort. The Plan of Salvation has taught me who I am, where I come from and where I’m going.
I fully understood and accepted the Plan of Salvation before coming to Earth, knowing I would be physically separated from God and knowing that each of us would eventually die. I know that I am a literal child of God and that I lived with him in the Premortal Life. I am so thankful for agency, knowing my eternal progression is contingent upon how I use this gift. I am so thankful that our Heavenly Father made a way for you to be close. That he loves me enough to send his Son, my Brother, to die for me - providing a way for me to return to him.
Jaxon I love and miss you. I always will and always want to.
279 AlinaJanuary 22, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? Good Friends
Wow time has flown by. I miss you! You were the bestest friend anybody could ever ask of. Thanks for everything you ever did.:) Love you tons.
278 Jake January 21, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? best friend
jaxon some how i ened up at your house tonight. i really cant believe that it has been 5 years . its amazin how you impacted me and the choices ive made on the last 5 years. i want you and everyone who reads this to know is that you are the best friend anyone could ever ask for i wouldnt trade our teenage years for the world. thanks for every thing love you jake
277 darcyJanuary 21, 2010
How did you know Jaxon? mom
Hey Jax-Man, Today was a little hard as I reflected on that day 5 years ago. I remember our last telephone conversation. You needed our credit card to pay for your dentist bill - the last thing you needed to do for your missionary paperwork. You were so excited about the hockey that night. Our last words - "Good luck on the game son. Thanks - I love you guys. Love you son. Love you Jax-Man. Call us after the game." I am so grateful that was our last words to each other. I don't expect anyone but us to remember the day you left; however, I am deeply touched by so many phone calls, cards, special gifts and beautiful flowers - that we received today - Everyone thinking of you and of us as your family. We have wonderful friends Jaxon and they love you and they love us. We are tremendously blessed by your life and your example. We have memories that make us laugh, memories that make us cry, and memories that make us want to be better and memories that will never be forgotten. Thanks. I felt your presence while in the temple and I do know that we have an eternal family. Love to all our friends and love to you son. Love mom
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